Finding Freedom From Fixtures

After recently taking a workshop with Marylee Fairbanks (http://maryleefairbanks.com/) I have decided to begin my own "24 Things" challenge (http://maryleefairbanks.com/24-things/). The rules are simple: each day for 24 days you let go of something that has been cluttering up your house, something that no longer serves you, objects that will be better suited at a yard sale, donation box, or in a trash barrel. During the 24 day release, one should only purchase necessities-- food, medical care, etc. All other material desires should be added to an ongoing list. If you are able to remember the items on your list at the end of the 24 days, then you are free to purchase them, otherwise they are likely to have been unimportant. According to Marylee, "The clutter in our house reflects the clutter in our hearts." Are we clinging to mementos of past relationships? Unwanted gifts that we were too polite to turn away? Clothes that haven't fit for years? Objects that no longer reflect who we are currently in this ever-changing body and mind of ours? Are the things we surround ourselves with keeping us rooted in the past, preventing us from blossoming into the future? In order to invite abundance into our lives, we must eliminate the unnecessary clutter that surrounds us.

Although Marylee recommends four cycles, corresponding to the four seasons, of 24 Things each year, the timing of her most recent workshop and the significance of this period in my own life could not have been better. I will be beginning my solitary 24 Things today, April 29th exactly one year after my (ex) husband told me he was moving out. In exactly 24 days I will turn 28 years old. I cannot think of a better way to mark the end of a year of transformation and to usher in another year of abundance, love, and gratitude for this life that constantly challenges and inspires me.

"One good thing to remember when clearing out is this: If you have an object that makes the past feel more important than the future then you should let it go. The past is gone. Your present is all that need be nourished." ~Marylee Fairbanks

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Day 41: Rabbit's Foot

The night before my boyfriend left for basic training, we stayed up without sleeping to spend time together. We went for a walk and visited all of our frequent spots-- Dunkin Donuts for coffee and for him a plain bagel toasted dark with plain cream cheese, the park the we would get married in three years later, and the abandoned church near my home. We watched the sunrise and the sunset. We curled up together on the couch and watched 50 First Dates, one of the only romantic comedies I ever enjoyed, probably because of the timing. We spent the morning together before I had to go to class at a local college. I went to a commuter school, so I took the train in every day. I seldom took the bus because it never seemed to show up on schedule when I needed it most. He walked me to the bus stop the day he was leaving though. For once I didn't care if the bus came on time or if it showed up at all. It made the corner onto Broadway too quickly and we hugged before I boarded. I would have skipped class that day, but we had our first major paper due and I didn't want the teacher to think I was absent because I hadn't written the paper. I probably could have emailed the professor to explain the situation, but I felt guilty about missing a responsibility.

The commute in took a little over an hour. I had to run across campus to be on time for class since taking the bus had held me up. I got to the door of the classroom out of breath and ten minutes late to find a note on the closed door. The class had been canceled.

People always remark at how calm I look, even in difficult situations. Although I usually do have a high tolerance for challenge, my anger flares up at times and I find myself taking deep breaths, going for a run, or slamming my fists into a punching bag at the gym to calm down. I continued to stare at the sign on the door and began to lose my vision to the anger. I started walking in circles, expecting the teacher to magically appear and say class wasn't canceled after all. Another student came by and confirmed the professor wouldn't be coming. I stormed off in a rush, realizing that I might be able to make it back to say goodbye to my boyfriend again.

I ran through the train station to make the connecting train and sprinted toward the bus stop. By then it was rush hour so there were buses waiting to leave. As I came running up the street to where my boyfriend was waiting, the army recruiter turned the corner at the opposite end of the street. We were converging on the same destination from opposite directions. It couldn't have been staged better in a movie production. I glared at the recruiter and started knocking frantically on the door. He didn't have a cell phone, so he had no idea that I'd be coming back to see him. He thought it was the recruiter knocking and his surprised excitement at seeing me was enough to make the anger melt away into a smile. We embraced. He reached his hand into mine and said, "Take this for good luck." He'd squeezed a red rabbit's foot into my palm. I smiled up at him and we kissed again before he grabbed his bag and got into the backseat of the recruiter's car. It was remembering the small, sweet gestures like this that kept our relationship alive all of the years he was away.

I kept the rabbit's foot in my coat pocket and would reach in and rub the fur as I was walking across campus, through train stations, or toward work. After my brother built the wooden box for his letters from Iraq I placed the worn rabbit's foot in there with the Alka Seltzer tablets, necklace, and a few other mementos. If we believe a talisman can bring us luck, we are probably right. If we see it as just an object of the past, it will be nothing more than clutter. 
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